This is more of a thought than a summary of something interesting I’ve done. I have found myself on countless youtube channels in the past few weeks of artists who’s styles I admire, watching a number of videos titled “how to find your style” or something similar. Style is an interesting concept. It makes us who we are and it is what allows us to be recognised at a glance. As an artist (something I refer to myself as now since a friend referred to me as one in the smoking area of a club once) I am very conscious of the fact that I don’t think I have a style yet. I am self-taught and only really beginning with my art, so I think that I can be forgiven but I am impatient with myself and as a result, I am frustrated that I am not able to conjure up characters and designs in my mind. I am unable to provide my Instagram dedicated to my art with any sense of consistency or distinctiveness as I am still experimenting. I am okay at copying, I can draw someone in the style of someone else, I can do a fairly decent realistic portrait. But I have no clue what to do in order to provide a theme in my art, something which I can be proud to call my own. I understand that this will probably come with time and I will most likely just have to keep creating and looking for inspiration until one day I realise I am using similar techniques and giving characters continuous characteristics and I will have something to call my own. However, I am the most impatient person I know. I expect myself to be good at everything, to be able to master any skill in record time and when I find myself unable to do that I get frustrated and write myself off as a failure. I suppose I just have to wait until I can look back at this and remember fondly this ridiculous impatience.
I fear that this issue will also present itself within my writing. I’m scared that there are no original ideas, no stories for me to imagine, no new worlds to craft in great detail and dedicate myself to. If I read a piece of work I have written I can tell that it’s mine, but that is more of an example of my personal idiolect than my style. Again I suppose the answer is practice, but I can’t help but wonder if anyone else has these fears.